Hi everyone, Shalom Aleichem!
Good evening GanSist everyone! 
Welcome back to Superwoman Seriesthe 107th, a series that discusses how women can become strong individuals physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.
Everyone certainly wants a beautiful love story. Many women envision a relationship that is caring, mutually supportive, and lasts well into old age. Unfortunately, reality does not always go according to expectations. In real life, quite a few women have to face various love tragedies that leave deep wounds.
Wounds in romantic relationships are often considered trivial by others. Some say, “Never mind, you’ll forget later”, or “There are still lots of men out there”. In fact, research in the field of psychology shows that painful events in romantic relationships can have a major impact on a person’s mental health, self-confidence, and even physical health.
Romantic relationships involve deep emotional attachment. When the relationship experiences a shock, the brain can respond as a serious form of loss. For this reason, the pain resulting from love problems often feels so real.
However, being a Superwoman does not mean never feeling emotional pain. Being a strong woman means being able to rise, learn, and find the meaning behind inner wounds.
Here are 4 love tragedies that women often experience.
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1. Get stuck in Abusive Relationship
One of the most painful love tragedies is being trapped inside abusive relationshipor an abusive relationship.
Violence in relationships does not always take the form of punches or kicks. This can take the form of constant insults, threats, excessive control, emotional manipulation, restraint from friends and family, neglect, sexual violence, and even economic violence.
Many women stay in relationships like this for various reasons, such as still loving their partner, fear of loneliness, being economically dependent, hoping their partner will change, and worrying about society’s judgment. In fact, research shows that violence in relationships can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and even various physical health problems.
What makes relationships like this even more dangerous is the emergence of a cycle of violence. After committing an abusive act, the perpetrator often apologizes, shows affection, and then repeats the same behavior at a later date. As a result, the victim becomes confused and finds it difficult to get out of the relationship.
Sista needs to remember one important thing, that love should not make someone feel threatened. Healthy relationships do have conflict, but they are not built on violence, insults, and intimidation.
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2. Cheated on by your partner
Infidelity is one of the most devastating experiences in a romantic relationship. When someone finds out that their partner is having a relationship with someone else, it is not only the relationship itself that is destroyed, but also trust, security, self-esteem and confidence in the future.
Some women even start to question themselves, whether they are not beautiful enough, not good enough, or feel that they are guilty.
In fact, infidelity is a decision made by the perpetrator of the affair himself. Responsibility for these actions cannot be placed solely on the party being cheated on.
Various studies show that infidelity can cause quite serious psychological impacts such as deep sadness, anxiety, anger, decreased self-confidence, and difficulty trusting other people.
Some people are successful in rebuilding relationships after infidelity. However, others choose to end the relationship.
There is no answer that is the same for everyone. The most important thing is to give yourself space to feel your sadness and heal your wounds in a healthy way.
As a Superwoman, Sista is not defined by the betrayals of others. A woman’s self-worth is not reduced just because someone fails to maintain loyalty.
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3. Not getting approval from parents
In many cultures, including Indonesian culture, parental blessing is still considered very important in relationships and marriage.
Therefore, one of the love tragedies that is quite painful is when the relationship you are in does not get family approval.
This rejection can occur for various reasons, for example religious differences, cultural differences, economic conditions, family background, and parents’ concerns about their child’s future.
This situation often gives rise to severe inner conflict. On the one hand, a woman loves her partner. On the other hand, women also love and respect their parents. Conflicts like this can cause stress, confusion, feelings of guilt, and prolonged anxiety.
For some people, the relationship finally ends because they don’t get their blessing. For others, the relationship continues and slowly gains acceptance from the family.
Whatever the final outcome, this experience can leave deep emotional scars.
Being a strong woman doesn’t mean always obeying other people’s wishes, or conversely, always rebelling. Strong women must have the wisdom to consider various aspects of life responsibly.
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4. Losing Your Partner Forever
Maybe this is one of the most painful love tragedies. Losing a husband or lover through death is an experience that can change a person’s life drastically.
When a husband or lover dies, women not only lose a loved one, but also lose friends to confide in, sources of emotional support, plans for the future together, and routines that have been built over years.
The grief resulting from the death of a partner can last a very long time. The grieving process is normal and can involve various feelings such as sadness, anger, confusion, emptiness, and difficulty accepting reality.
Psychologists explain that each person has a different grieving process. There is no definite time limit regarding when a person must “recover”. Some people need several months, while others need years.
The important thing is to give yourself space to grieve and seek support if needed. Although the death of a loved one is an extremely painful experience, many studies show that humans have the ability to move on and find new meaning in life after loss. This doesn’t mean forgetting people who have died, but rather learning to move on with life while still appreciating the memories that exist.
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CLOSURE
Love can indeed bring extraordinary happiness. However, love can also cause deep wounds. Four love tragedies that women often experience are:
1) Being trapped in an abusive relationship
2) Experiencing infidelity
3) Not getting approval from parents
4) Losing your partner forever
As part of Superwoman Series #107, there is one thing to remember, that wounds in love are not a sign of weakness. These wounds are part of the human experience that can teach resilience, wisdom and empathy.
A Superwoman is not a woman who never cries. A super woman is a woman who still has the courage to get up, love herself, and move on with her life even though she has experienced deep heartbreak.
Because, in the end, a woman’s strength is not measured by how few wounds she has experienced, but by how much courage she has to keep growing after the wounds come.
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SOURCE
One Hundred Percent Male Y*ut*be Account (but adapted to a female style)
American Psychological Association. (2023). Healthy relationships. American Psychological Association.
Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The other side of sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss. Basic Books.
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2)213–231.
Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.
Stark, E. (2007). Coercive control: How men entrap women in personal life. Oxford University Press.
World Health Organization. (2021). Violence against women prevalence estimates, 2018. World Health Organization.
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner(5th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.
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