Image Source:Artificial IntelligenceHi everyone, Shalom Aleichem!
Good morning GanSist everyone! 
In several previous series, the Superwoman Series has discussed how women can grow into strong individuals physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. We have discussed the importance of exercise, building competence, managing finances, developing skills, and maintaining healthy relationships.
However, there is one experience that everyone must experience, no matter how strong they are. That experience was a failure. No scientist is always successful. No athlete always wins. There is no entrepreneur whose every business is immediately successful. No student always gets perfect results.
Failure is not a sign that someone has no future. In many cases, failure actually becomes part of the learning process. What differentiates a person is not whether they have failed or not, but rather how they respond to that failure.
Modern psychology shows that the way a person interprets failure influences their motivation, mental health, and ability to bounce back (resilience).
As part of Superwoman Seriesthe 145th, here are 6 steps that can help Sista strengthen herself after experiencing failure.
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1. Remember, what failed was the strategy, not your identity
The biggest mistake after failing is considering failure as self-identity. For example, when someone is not accepted for work, they say that they are useless. When he loses in a race, the thought arises that he is stupid.
In fact, failure usually indicates that the methods, strategies or preparations used have not been effective, not that a person’s self-worth has been lost. Psychologist Carol Dweck explains the concept growth mindsetwhich is a way of thinking that abilities can develop through practice, evaluation, and experience.
People who have growth mindsetmore likely to ask what he can improve rather than saying that he is not capable. This change in way of thinking seems simple, but it has a big impact on your ability to rise.
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2. Take Paper, Make Three Columns
Once your emotions start to calm down, try doing a simple evaluation. Take paper, make three columns.
First column, what can you actually control but haven’t done well? For example, lack of practice, lack of discipline, or inadequate preparation.
Second column, what is outside of Sista’s control? For example, weather, jury decisions, economic conditions, or unexpected events.
Third column, what lessons will you use to improve your next steps?
This simple method helps separate facts from emotions.
Apart from that, exercises like this keep your energy from blaming yourself or blaming the situation. The focus shifts to solutions.
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3. Achieve Three Small Achievements in a Day
After failing, some people lose enthusiasm for doing anything. As a result, they daydream more and more and keep repeating the same events in their minds. This condition is known as rumination, namely the tendency to think about problems repeatedly without producing a solution.
One way to break the cycle is to complete some small, meaningful tasks. For example, writing a new short story, trying a cake recipe you’ve never made before, teaching Mathematics to a neighbor’s child or younger sibling, tidying up your study table, or reading a chapter of a book.
Small successes like these can provide a healthy sense of accomplishment and help restore motivation to keep moving forward. What is important is not the size of the achievement, but the courage to act again.
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4. Channel your disappointment through physical activity
Disappointment doesn’t need to be kept bottled up forever. However, emotions also do not need to be vented in a way that harms yourself or others.
Physical activity is a healthy way to help manage stress. You can run, do push-ups, sit-ups, walk fast, cycle, or other forms of exercise that suit your body condition.
Exercise is known to help improve mood through a variety of biological mechanisms, including the release of endorphins and improved general health. Apart from making the body healthier, moving also helps divert attention from thoughts that keep spinning aimlessly.
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5. Talk to One Person You Really Trust
When they fail, humans need support. However, support doesn’t always mean telling everyone about problems.
Often, talking to one person you really trust is enough to help. This person can be a parent, partner, friend, mentor, teacher, or religious figure who is truly wise.
By talking to the right people, you can gain new perspectives, emotional support, or simply be heard without being judged.
On the other hand, telling a problem to too many people sometimes makes the mind even more confused because it receives too many different opinions. The quality of support is more important than the number of people who know about it.
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6. You Can Cry Today, But Don’t Give Up Tomorrow
Crying is not a sign of weakness. Crying is one of the natural ways humans express emotions.
It’s okay if today you feel sad, disappointed, or even feel defeated. These feelings are part of the experience of being human. However, after making room for emotions, don’t let failure become a permanent home.
Tomorrow is a new opportunity. Get up. Make the bed. Bathe. Eat healthy food. Continue work. Study more. Practice some more.
Not all failures immediately turn into success on the next try. However, people who keep trying have a much greater chance than those who stop because they are afraid of failing again.
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CLOSURE
As part of Superwoman Series #145, this discussion reminds us that failure is not the end of the journey. What fails may be strategy, not self-identity. An honest evaluation is more useful than beating yourself up. Small accomplishments can help restore morale. Exercise can be a healthy outlet for managing emotions. Support from one trusted person is often more meaningful than seeking validation from many people. And most importantly, give yourself the opportunity to feel disappointed, but don’t stop moving.
A strong woman is not a woman who never fails. Strong women are those who are able to stand up again after falling, learn from mistakes, improve their steps, and keep walking towards their life goals. Because, true courage is not measured by how few failures one experiences, but rather by how often a person chooses to get up after experiencing them.
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SOURCE
One Hundred Percent Male Y*ut*be Account (but adapted to a female style)
American Psychological Association. (2023). Building Your Resilience. American Psychological Association.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.
Southwick, S. M., & Charney, D. S. (2018). Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges(2nd ed.). Cambridge University Press.
World Health Organization. (2020). WHO Guidelines on Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour. World Health Organization.
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