Image Source:Artificial IntelligenceHi everyone, Shalom Aleichem!
Good afternoon GanSist everyone! 
In several previous series, the Superwoman Series has discussed the importance of controlling consumer behavior, building financial independence, developing competence, maintaining physical and mental health, and avoiding people pleasing. All of these discussions have the same goal, namely helping women grow into strong individuals physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.
One of the challenges that is increasingly being faced in the digital era is shopping addiction. The ease of shopping via cellphone, promotions that keep popping up, and various marketing strategies make it easier for someone to buy goods without really needing them.
In psychology, compulsive shopping behavior (compulsive buying behavior) is not just a shopping hobby, but a buying pattern that is difficult to control, done repeatedly to relieve emotions, but in the end it actually causes financial and psychological problems.
The good news is, this habit can be changed. However, change doesn’t happen overnight. Just like building muscle through exercise, the ability to control impulses also takes practice and time.
Please keep in mind that the time periods below are not absolute rules. Everyone develops at a different pace. Some take less time, some take longer. The following numbers can be seen as illustrating the stages one might experience during the process of building a new habit.
As part of Superwoman Seriesthe 146th, here are the 6 stages of strength that begin to emerge when you learn to let go of your shopping addiction.
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First 3 Days: Dare to Fight Impulses
The first three days are often the hardest. The desire to open a shopping application is still strong. Promotion still feels tempting. The mind often says that it’s okay to buy just one thing. Feelings of anxiety can also arise because the brain is not used to losing the source of instant gratification that has been obtained through buying activities.
All of this is normal. The most important thing at this stage is not to feel comfortable, but to dare to fight impulses.
Every time you dare to say no and say that you don’t need this item, you are actually practicing your ability to control yourself. That ability is far more valuable than any discount.
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7 Days: Energy Begins to Rise
After about 1 week, some people begin to feel changes. The time previously spent looking at catalogs or promotions is starting to decrease. The mind becomes a little calmer. Patience begins to increase because you are no longer constantly chasing instant gratification. Some people also feel fresher because their mental energy is no longer used up thinking about what they want to buy.
This change may not be big yet. However, this is a sign that the brain is starting to adapt to new habits. Happiness is slowly starting to be sought from more meaningful activities.
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21 Days: More Confident and Disciplined
After 3 weeks of adopting new habits, many people begin to feel an increase in self-confidence. Not because you have new things, but because you have managed to control yourself.
Controlling impulses is a form of success that is often invisible to others, but is very significant for personal development.
In addition, the habit of recording expenses, postponing non-essential purchases, and differentiating between needs and wants helps improve discipline.
Gradually, the ability to manage money also develops. Sista is starting to think more carefully before spending money. This is a form of financial intelligence that is very important in life.
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30 Days: More Charming, Empathetic, and Creative
After about 1 month, changes are often not only felt by oneself, but also begin to be seen by others.
When someone is no longer too busy pursuing new things, they have more time to develop their abilities, for example learning to cook, learning a foreign language, exercising, writing, drawing, teaching children, or taking part in training. These activities help enrich life experiences and develop creativity.
Apart from that, learning to live frugally often makes someone understand better that not everyone has the same economic conditions. This awareness can foster empathy and the desire to help others.
A person’s attractiveness comes not only from their appearance, but also from their patience, competence, and concern for others.
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60 Days: Enjoying Simple Things and Wanting to Share
At this stage, many people begin to find simpler sources of happiness, such as taking a leisurely walk, reading a book, exercising, cooking, gardening, and chatting with family. It all starts to feel fun without having to always buy something.
In addition, when someone gains experience overcoming bad habits, they are often encouraged to share this experience with others. Not to patronize, but to encourage that change is possible. Mentally you also become stronger because you have repeatedly succeeded in resisting temptations that previously felt difficult to resist.
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90 Days: Have Clearer Life Goals
After about 3 months of consistent change, many people begin to have a healthier relationship with money.
Shopping is no longer the main goal. Money is seen as a tool to achieve bigger life goals, for example building a business, attending education, helping the family, saving, investing, or supporting social activities.
At this stage, the mind usually becomes calmer because it is no longer constantly filled with the desire to buy. Sista also finds it easier to determine life priorities. Social relationships often become healthier, because you no longer feel like you have to chase validation through the things you own or through your behavior people pleasing. Other people respect Sista because of her competence, integrity and attitude, not because she is busy pursuing validation and a consumer lifestyle.
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CLOSURE
As part of Superwoman Series #146, this discussion reminds us that quitting a shopping addiction is not just about saving money. These changes can also open up space for the development of various other strengths, such as courage to fight impulses, calmness of mind, discipline, financial intelligence, empathy, creativity, mental resilience, and the ability to determine clearer life goals.
This journey certainly does not always run smoothly. There are times when someone is tempted to buy things that they don’t actually need. If that happens, don’t consider all your efforts to be in vain. Use this experience as evaluation material, then continue the good habits that have been built.
A strong woman is not a woman who is never tempted. Strong women are those who are able to take back control of their lives, make conscious decisions, use money wisely, and direct their time and energy to things that are truly valuable.
Because, in the end, true freedom is not the ability to buy everything you want, but rather the ability to say that you don’t need it when temptation comes.
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SOURCE
Y*ut*be’s account is one hundred percent male (but adapted to a female style).
Black, D. W. (2007). A review of compulsive buying disorder. World Psychiatry, 6(1)14-18.
Koran, L. M., Faber, R. J., Aboujaoude, E., Large, M. D., & Serpe, R. T. (2006). Estimated prevalence of compulsive buying behavior in the United States. American Journal of Psychiatry, 163(10)1806-1812.
Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed? Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6)998-1009.
Müller, A., Mitchell, JE, & de Zwaan, M. (2015). Compulsive buying. The American Journal on Addictions, 24(2)132-137.
World Health Organization. (2020). Healthy Diet. World Health Organization.
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