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Hi everyone, Shalom Aleichem!
Good afternoon GanSist everyone! 
In several previous series, the Superwoman Series has discussed the importance of building a strong mentality, fighting laziness, avoiding people pleasing, and controlling consumer behavior. All of these discussions have the same goal, namely helping women become individuals who are increasingly independent, healthy, intelligent, and able to provide benefits to the environment around them.
In everyday life, someone does not always make mistakes because they lack ability. Often times, mistakes occur because a habit is repeated over and over again until it is finally considered normal. When the environment around them also does the same thing, it becomes increasingly difficult for a person to realize that this habit is actually detrimental to themselves and others.
Therefore, the ability to self-reflect is one of the characteristics of maturity. Dare to say that it turns out that Sista has been wrong all this time is the first step towards change.
On Superwoman SeriesThis 131st, let’s discuss 6 things that seem normal, but actually need to be stopped.
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1. Be aware, people pleasing will not make you more likable
Many people believe that the more they give in, the harder it is to say “no”, and the more they sacrifice themselves, the more people will like them.
The reality is not that simple. In psychology, healthy relationships are built through mutual respect, not through unlimited sacrifice. People who constantly try to please everyone are often seen as lacking conviction or lacking self-confidence. They tend to be afraid of disappointing others and therefore have difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
Ironically, this behavior often invites people who like to take advantage of other people’s kindness. As a result, people pleasers are not only emotionally exhausted, but also lose the opportunity to make their own choices.
Respecting other people is important. However, respecting yourself is just as important. A strong woman is able to be friendly without losing her principles.
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2. Be aware, taking supplements too often does not automatically make you healthy
Supplements have benefits in certain conditions, for example when someone experiences a deficiency of certain nutrients or on the recommendation of a health professional. However, assuming that more supplements means healthier is a wrong assumption.
Some people buy various vitamins, herbs, or health products every time they read frightening information about diseases. Over time, concern for health turns into excessive worry. In fact, health is built through many factors, such as a balanced nutritious diet, adequate sleep, exercise, stress management, and health checks as needed.
Consuming excessive supplements without a clear basis is also not always beneficial for health. For some types of vitamins or minerals, this can actually cause unwanted health problems if consumed beyond the recommended limits.
Maintaining health means building a good lifestyle, not just expanding the contents of the medicine cabinet.
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3. Be aware, gossiping behind people’s backs doesn’t make them more acceptable
Gossip is often considered a part of social life. Indeed, talking about other people is not always negative. However, when gossip turns into a habit of talking about someone’s shortcomings behind their back, the impact is different.
Habits like this can form a mentality of always running away from healthy confrontations. A person becomes accustomed to submitting complaints to a third party, but does not dare to have a direct dialogue with the person concerned. As a result, the conflict is never truly resolved. Misunderstanding is actually growing.
Apart from that, people who like to gossip often lose the trust of their surroundings. Other people will think that if the gossiper talks about other people in front of themselves, maybe one day the gossiper will also talk about themselves too.
Healthy communication requires courage, honesty, and empathy. Talking about problems directly in a calm manner is much more beneficial than spreading stories behind someone’s back.
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4. Be aware, inviting friends who are addicted to shopping is not a form of affection
A healthy friendship should help each member thrive. Unfortunately, not all friend invitations lead to good habits.
Inviting friends to shop occasionally is certainly not a problem. However, if someone knows that their friend is trying to overcome a shopping addiction, and then continues to encourage them to buy things they don’t need, this action will actually make things worse.
In changing behavior, social support is a very important factor. A supportive environment will help someone maintain new habits. On the other hand, an environment that continually invites you to return to old habits increases the risk of relapse.
Affection doesn’t always mean inviting friends to shop together. Sometimes, affection actually means inviting a friend to exercise at the gym, learn a new skill, take an English course together, or take part in a more useful social activity. Good friends help us grow, not push us deeper into detrimental habits.
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5. Be aware, online loans will not make you rich
The convenience of technology has brought many benefits, including in the financial sector. However, the ease of obtaining loans also presents new challenges.
Some people use online loans to fulfill their consumer lifestyle. Items that are not really urgent are purchased using borrowed money. Bills started to pile up. Interest and additional fees continue to add up. Psychological pressure increases.
Research shows that debt problems are associated with increased stress, anxiety, and even reduced quality of life. When most of your income is used to pay installments, the opportunity to build savings and investments becomes increasingly small.
Wealth is not built through consumer debt. Wealth is built through the ability to manage income, improve skills, work productively, and make wise financial decisions.
A strong woman is not a woman who always has the newest things, but a woman who is able to control her financial condition.
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6. Be aware, bullying stupid friends won’t make you smarter
Intelligence is one of the gifts to be thankful for. However, intelligence is not an excuse to insult others.
There is still an opinion that mocking friends whose grades are low or whose thinking abilities are below average will make someone appear smarter.
In fact, the reality is quite the opposite. Bullying behavior indicates a quality weakness, not an advantage. Research in the field of psychology shows that emotional intelligence, empathy, and the ability to work together play a big role in a person’s success in school, work, and social life.
Truly intelligent people are usually able to explain things without demeaning other people, are willing to teach knowledge, are patient with differences in ability, and understand that each person has their own strengths and weaknesses.
Society needs smart people who also have empathy, not smart people who use their knowledge to bully other people.
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CLOSURE
Being Superwoman doesn’t mean never making mistakes. Being a Superwoman means having the courage to admit mistakes, improve habits, and continue to develop into a better person. People pleasing does not make someone more appreciated. Supplements are not a substitute for a healthy lifestyle. Gossip is not the path to quality friendship. Inviting friends to behave consumptive behavior is not a form of caring. Online loans are not a shortcut to wealth. Putting others down is not proof of intelligence.
On the other hand, truly strong women build self-confidence through attitude, maintain health through good habits, build relationships with integrity, help friends grow, manage finances wisely, and use their intelligence to help others, not bring them down.
As part of Superwoman Series #131, the main message is simple. Mistakes that are repeated over and over again will seem normal. However, something that is normal is not necessarily true.
Therefore, dare to evaluate yourself. Every big change always begins with a simple awareness, namely realizing that there are still things that need to be improved.
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SOURCE
Y*ut*be’s account is one hundred percent male (but adapted to a female style).
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders(5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Publishing.
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.
Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. (2020). OECD/INFE 2020 International Survey of Adult Financial Literacy. OECD Publishing.
World Health Organization. (2020). Healthy diet. World Health Organization.
World Health Organization. (2022). Guidelines on physical activity and sedentary behaviour. World Health Organization.
Yeager, D. S., & Dweck, C. S. (2012). Mindsets that promote resilience: When students believe that personal characteristics can be developed. Educational Psychologist, 47(4)302-314.
